Wednesday, September 23, 2020

The Day It All Changed...


Background: I actually wrote this back in 2004, but had pulled it from the blog to try to get it published. There was a reason to put it back up for a while. This was written when I was going to IUSB to get my degree in Spanish as I remembered why I wanted to learn Spanish. 


It's important to remember what events changed you. When I get tired of going to school, and continually trying to wrap my head around Spanish grammar and trying to improve my accent, I try to remember the day that changed me forever. The picture above was taken on that day, that's me in the lower right corner. I know, I know, what's up with that red bandana? In 1997 I went on my first trip to Mexico. This was my first trip outside of the USA. I was extremely nervous and did not know what to expect. I had been to two Spanish classes before the trip, so I was looking forward to getting a real workout

We were running free dental and medical clinics in the mountains of the state of Puebla. The third day we were high up in the mountains, around five thousand feet above sea level in a village called Ahuactlan. The mountains were covered with coffee plants,palms and pines with every shade of green imaginable. Every evening the fog would roll up the mountains like a blanket of white cotton candy that would melt away with the morning heat. As we drove up into the mountains in the morning from the town of Huauachinango, we passed colonial homes with fuschia Bougainvillea growing on the pastel walls guarded by wrought iron gates. The next street we passed would be a group of shacks with home-made turkey pens and skittish dogs peeking from the corners.

There was not one particular event this day that struck me, it was more like the day as a whole. Since I had more Spanish training than some of the other gringos, I was trained in doing registration. This meant I would take their blood pressure and temperature and ask them questions about their health and direct them to the doctor or dentist. Mexicans don't seem to have that built-in tendency to line up for things, they just crowd around and elbow in through the crowd when they want something. But they are fairly good natured about it and don't get angry, at least compared to most uptight Anglos. For at least 5 hours I was surrounded by a sea of faces. Most of the people were Nuahtl(indigenous Mexicans). People were at my elbows, crowding around me, looking at me like I was the strangest thing they had ever seen. I'm sure they were all slightly curious about why a six foot tall gordo gringo with a crew cut was doing in their neck of the woods. The adults were very serious, but the kids were as curious as kids anywhere else in the world. What really floored me was that many of the people coming to the clinics knew about as much or even less Spanish than I did. They spoke the Nuahtl language. Many of the older people knew no Spanish and little kids would translate from Nuahtl to Spanish so we could get them registered. During those five hours, I finally became conscious of a world I had been so sheltered for my life up to then. Its taken me a long time to be able to put it in clear words, before then it was just a non-specific raw feeling inside me. I always thought I was an empathetic guy before then, but this was a totally different feeling. I felt like I was surrounded by all of the poverty, pain, and desperation of the world at large. It was a world of babies getting sick because they can't get enough vitamins, people with a head full of rotten teeth making their head ache from morning to night, and no hope for the future or real social change because almost all authorities around them are callous to their pain. All of your life you try to see yourself as who you really are, or where you fit into society. After these five hours I didn't know who I was anymore. My high and tight crew cut, the loud Hawaiian shirts, shiny shoes, and all those weird obsessions that I thought had defined me as unique seemed to mean nothing at that point. I couldn't be that guy anymore, his image faded in and out, like some scratchy black and white educational film from the fifties about to burn up in the borrowed projector from the AV department. In those five hours, the world became so much bigger, and people so much more precious... -John

Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Current Bibliography.

Below is my current bibliography of works published at this time.

Anti-Heroin Chic
http://heroinchic.weebly.com/blog/poetry-by-john-homan

Arizona's Best Emerging Poets 2019: An Anthology
https://www.zpublishinghouse.com/?rfsn=3288141.729641

Broken Pencil Magazine
https://brokenpencil.com/uncategorized/online-exclusive-fiction-the-house/

Chiron Review
Print & Purchased Ebook publication only-works not available on line.
Fall 2018 issue - "The Pink Warrior"
Summer 2017 issue - "Regarding the Rhinoceros"


Constellate Magazine
The Drabble


Elixir Magazine


Indiana University Undergraduate Research Journal 2003


Misfit Magazine




Quatrain Fish
http://quatrain.fish/
10 four line poems published here.

PAN-O-PLY Story and Art Michiana
https://www.panoplymichiana.com/blog/5wkb578cjwkugof0ozwfhv57ae51ok
Seven poems published here: Waffles, Tired of Commas, Why I Swim, Lemon Frosting, What My Dad Left Me, The Rights of Monkeys, New Management


Peculiars Magazine

Pulp Poet's Press


Tiny Essays
https://tinyessays.com/2019/06/11/the-eternal-part-by-john-homan/


Vamp Cat Magazine

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Dear White People...



















Let me speak to my fellow white people about the Black Lives Matter movement…I was raised in a small town in Oregon where the diverseness of our High School were the two Korean girls that were adopted, (I had a crush on one of them). In the past, I’ve not been a progressive or a liberal on most things. I have voted conservative most of my life. So please listen to me when I say this.

There are a lot of white people missing the point about the Black Lives Matter movement.  

There are many of us spending a great deal of time saying “All Lives Matter”, or “Blue Lives Matter” and generally racially mansplaining to black people that it’s all in their heads and that police brutality is not a real issue. This is quite possibly the worst way to approach this.

Do this with me. Think back to the worst times of your life. Were there ever times in your life when people did not take you seriously? Were there ever times when people told you to settle down and quit overreacting? Were there ever times where people told you that you had no right to feel the way that you did? I don’t know about you, but those are some of the darkest times in my life. Not only did it sting to be told I was wrong to feel the way I did, it left me feeling alone, totally misunderstood and angry at the world.

The question of whether blacks are being treated differently by the police is very important, but just as important is the fact that there is a large segment of our society that has a perception that they do not belong; there are people in our country who do not trust the police to protect them, and many of us are just saying they don’t know what they are talking about and ignoring it.

The phrase “Black lives matter” is not stating their lives are extra special, worth more than white lives or blue lives, but it is crying out that they believe their lives are not being treated as equally important as the rest of us. Responding with “All Lives Matter”, means we totally don’t get it or worse yet, we believe everything is just fine and black people are just blowing things out of proportion.

The “All Lives Matter” responses along with some law enforcement agencies either not policing themselves or making incredibly bad decisions in responding to the public outcry is what is leading to violence from unbalanced people. When a group of people feel ignored and oppressed by the people that should be protecting them, when hopelessness becomes entrenched in your world outlook, how can it not eventually lead to violence?  

If I as a blue eyed blonde haired big galoot of a white man, who the last time I was pulled over for speeding received a warning, woke up one morning to see media coverage of police shooting down people that looked just like me, how would I react? If the months and years went by and it became a normal thing to hear reports of people like me dying in the streets, how would that affect me? I would be angry, nervous and spend my day looking over my shoulder hoping I didn't catch the attention of law enforcement. I'd be asking myself how I ended up in a country like this.

Many of us were raised with those ideals that America is the land of the free and the home of the brave, that it was the best country in the world where everyone was treated equal and you could be anything you wanted to be through hard work and determination. Those ideals led many of us to work hard and be productive members of society. If we had been raised to not trust the government and to be careful because the police were not to be trusted and could kill us, how would that affect us? If we saw things causing us to believe that the system is not fair and that equality is a myth, how would we respond?

The reason that many people respond with "all lives matter" is because they still want to believe those ideals even though there are things happening to our fellow citizens that are contrary to the ideals of America. They want to ignore events that are contrary to their dream of a just and free America. If we truly believed in that dream of a just America, enforcing those beliefs is the best way to make it so. It is the way that most resembles the founding of our country-resisting unfair treatment of our countrymen. In this situation, we need to force our elected officials to take it seriously when a large segment of society fears those who are supposed to be protecting them.

Saying "Black Lives Matter", is as patriotic as "We hold this truth to be self-evident that all men are created equal..." It’s the same idea, only specifying one of the parties of men that are equal to all of the others.

If we can't say that "Black Lives Matter" without adding a “but” at the end, without some type of disclaimer to it…we need to ask ourselves why.

Monday, July 27, 2015

the blade by Charles Bukowski

the blade 

there was no parking near the post office where I worked at night 
so I found this splendid spot 
(Nobody seemed to care to park there) 

on a dirt road behind a 
slaughterhouse 
and as I sat in my car 
just before work 
smoking a last cigarette 
I was treated to the same 
scene 

as each evening tailed off into 
night-the pigs were herded out of the 
yard pens 
and onto runways 
by a man making pig sounds and 
flapping a large canvas 
and the pigs ran wildly 
up the runway 
toward the waiting 
blade, 
and many evenings 
after watching that 
after finishing my 
smoke 
I just started the car 
backed out of there and 
drove away from my 
job. 

My absenteeism reached such astonishing 
proportions.

that I had to finally 
park 
at some expense 

behind a Chinese bar 
where all I could see were tiny shuttered 
windows 

with neon signs advertising some Oriental 
libation. 

it seemed less real, and that was 
what was 
needed.

Monday, March 30, 2015

NAPOWRIMO 2015

April is National Poetry Month.

This year my wife Laura and I are joining NAPOWRIMO, which is National Poetry Writing Month . We normally participate in National Novel Writing Month in the Winter, but this year we are going to write one poem every day for the whole month of April. I'm planning on posting most of them here on the blog unless they are too sensitive, but I have some ready made poems already in reserve I can add to the blog, so stop by and you should see something new this month.

You can also see my wife's blog here: Grace to Create

Thanks!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Dear Aldi's

Dear Aldi's,
Below is an actual section trimmed from the aluminum can of your Summit GT Diet Cola. I'm sorry, but someone has to tell you...you're trying WAY TOO HARD here.




That's an awful lot to expect from one beverage, especially when it's $2.39 for a 12 pack. I'm sorry, it's not as good as Diet Coke. Just a hint, say something like "A delightful refreshing beverage that won't break the bank". You've just made the bar WAY too high for just a can of diet soda. Tell your marketeers to switch to decaf or something-cause this is a little crazy. Just sayin. I like your other stuff, thanks for saving me money on groceries and your guacamole is awesome.


Best Regards,
John Homan

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Marimba Solo

This is something I made with my phone on a Saturday afternoon at work.

Friday, September 19, 2014

Pre-coffee thought...


I am a sock...

Stretched out by society’s designs,
Stuffed into situations I hate
Smelling of compressed sweat
Stuffed into a basket full of shirts and sweaters
Swirling in the soapy water of the washer
Sailing and soaring in the sizzling dryer,
Sojourning in the basket until I am sorted
and joined to my mate again.

Monday, August 11, 2014

Mike Love - Permanent Holiday




Friday, July 25, 2014

Urban Isolation

Happy Friday. Check out this sublime little short film that makes Los Angeles even a little cooler than it already is.



Tuesday, July 22, 2014

JaBig Marvin Gaye Remix

One of my friends turned me on to the DJ JaBig on Soundcloud. He's really phenomenal and most of his work is available for free on soundcloud. Check out the Marvin Gaye remix below. I like it all except for the inclusion of the Blurred Lines part, but that's for the lyrics only, the jam itself is tight.

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

A Softer World

The website A Softer World is really a literary gem of a website.
The authors write little bits of prose/poems and pair them with interesting photos
in what looks like a comic strip but really isn't. Fair warning though, some
of their stuff can be vulgar and "R" rated, so don't point your young children
their for poetry appreciation month. Here's a sample of some of their stuff
that touched me or made me laugh.

I especially liked how the last one looks like its going to end all puppies
and unicorns and then proceeds to swerve into a three car pileup with
oedipal issues. It made me feel like someone just played an awesome
joke on me and I have to do a standing slow clap for the talent.


 





Sunday, June 29, 2014

Billy Collins versus Charles Bukowski


Two books of poetry at the local Barnes & Noble.

1. Billy Collins, brilliant, hilarious poet laureate of the United States-a mere 88 pages.
2. Charles Bukowski, hard drinking, horse racing aficionado, lover of cats and classical music, a bum who made it- a whopping 408 pages you could probably use as a light bludgeon.

Both books are $18. Both are great poets, but Bukowski is a $5.00 Chinese buffet with pizza and ice cream and Collins is a delicately prepared meal of haute cuisine that still tastes like real food, but empties your wallet.

I`ll take the buffet...at least I'll go away full and not feel cheated when I come to the end of the book.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

RIP Horace Silver, founder of the Jazz Messengers. You brought a lot to our world. Thanks.

Thursday, May 29, 2014

Still I Rise By Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise

I rise.

Friday, April 25, 2014

Sometimes, Dreams Do Come True...

Twitter entry at 6 am as I am packing my bag to go to the YMCA to swim...




8 am as I arrive at work...I find this on my desk from my coworker Kimberly.
She does not use Twitter at all.



Friday, April 18, 2014