Answering some emails...

I seem to keep getting the same spam emails over and over, I've decided I will answer them to see if maybe that will stop them from sending them to me. My spam filter isn't doing that great of a job anyway, so I can't see it will make that much difference.

"Dear Amparo,

I actually don't need to add peculiarity to my style. Do you have anything to add normalcy to my style? That I would be interested in!

Warm Regards,

John Homan"

***

"Dear Luxury R0LEX Sports Models,

I don't know if anyone told you, but 'Regular Joe's' don't buy their watches from schmucks spelling Rolex with a zero in place of the letter o. Just a little marketing tip you may find helpful.

Warm Regards,

J0hn H0man"

***

"Dear Geraldine,

So, what you are telling me is that looks, education, social connections and money, don't matter, but all I need is a decent watch? Thanks for the tip. I had found society's rules so confusing up til this point in my life. Today, I will gain my place in high society with my new R0LEX from Geraldine Marquez, today is the day it all changes!!!

Gratefully yours,

John Homan

P.S. I'm not really grateful."

***

"Dear Luxury R0LEX Datejusts,

I don't think I really can make that sort of committment to a watch. All I wanted was something shiny that told time and possibly upgraded my social status. I really don't need another best friend. Can we just be aquantainces for now and see how things work out?

Warm Regards,

John Homan"

***

"Dear Alvin,

So my financial abilities are so limited that I can only afford a R0LEX that turns my wrist green? A little hint for future offers, insulting your possible customers by saying they only are worthy of cheap knock-offs is no way to engender loyalty.

I'm just saying...

Lukewarm Regards,

John Homan"

***