Peggy
was not the prettiest girl in eight grade. Come to think of it, she didn't have
a nice personality to fall back on either. No, she was probably the least liked
girl in my class. She could be mean, she always gossiped and told outrageous
stories that few people believed. To this day I can't believe why I thought it was a good idea to ask her to be my girlfriend that Friday afternoon, but I'll never forget her answer as long as I live.
In the
small church school we attended, Peggy was at the bottom of the Jr. High food chain. I was somewhere near the top. I was the class clown, had lots of friends and was pretty sure I was on my way to being a lover-boy. Not that I had any real experience to speak of, but I could make the girls laugh and my Mom said I was charming, and she seemed to be a reliable source on that sort of thing so I knew love was just around the corner.
One day at lunchtime I sat with some of my friends who happened to be girls, it was all disgustingly platonic. Anyway, as a I munched my "meat" pizza, one of the girls named Tania leaned in and said, "Is it true about you and Peggy?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about."
"She told me that you guys had gone on a date and that you liked her."
"Nope, I don't know anything about that."
"I thought so. I told her I didn't believe her." Tania looked pleased, like she would enjoying picking on Peggy about this. The thing is, picking on Peggy was too easy. She had none of the poise and social prowess to
defend herself. I had picked on her and used her as the butt of jokes like everyone else did. We all seemed to have the social niceties of a pack of hyenas in matching plaid uniforms.
I continued thinking about Peggy that night. If I was ever going to start my career as a lover boy, I had to start somewhere. Why not with her? She did qualify as a girl. She smelled better than a boy and had some of those curvy parts I was interested in.Why not throw her a bone since its obvious she must like me if she's spreading rumours. Yes, I would do it. I would ask her to go with me. I could start on my career as a great lover with little trouble and bring some joy to the underprivileged.
The very next day was Friday. I found her when no one else was around and asked her the big question. I expected her to squeal with delight and say "YES, YES, YES!". Instead she looked at me blankly and said she would have to "pray about it". In all of the possibilities I had expected this was not even on the list. Yes, no, maybe, not now, all perfectly normal. But this was just nuts. I was deflated like a two week old helium baloon.
"When will you know what your decision is?", I asked sheepishly.
"I'll tell you Monday." she said in a business-like fashion and walked away.
Monday took forever to arrive. Finally, I tracked her down and asked her what her decision was.
"God said we aren't supposed to go together."
I stammered out a weak "Ok..." and turned an walked away. It may have been the worst day in my 8th grade career. Word spread all over the small school about it. Since I didn't want to talk about it, that made it true and not just another one of her stories.
It also opened all kind of theological questions, "So God won't let me have even the least pretty girl in class as a girlfriend? Am I supposed to be a monk or something? They never said anything about this in Sunday school, what sort of crazy world is this?"
Years later, I finally realized several things. Number 1, God really did not have anything to do with it. and number 2, Between the 2 of us, Peggy had got what she wanted. She had been the winner. Everyone had always been mean to her, including me, and had said unkind things about-but this time, she had won. When I look back on it now, it makes me happy to see someone who was on the bottom come out on top. That doesn't seem to happen that often enough.
Me? What did I get? I got what I desperately needed: a reality check, a little perspective. I needed to know that relationships with women were not going to be something I could manage and that it wasn't all about me. So for that, Thanks Peggy. I hope you got everything you wanted in your life.
