Therapy Llamas

Carol Burnett Show - Star Trek Parody

New Year's Resolution Poems by The Editors of Poetry Magazine

New Year's Resolution Poems by The Editors

We Make Blowgun Darts w/ Crayons

Seth's Blog: Doing what you love (but maybe you can't get paid for it)

Seth's Blog: Doing what you love (but maybe you can't get paid for it)

Burning the Old Year by Naomi Shihab Nye : The Poetry Foundation

Burning the Old Year by Naomi Shihab Nye : The Poetry Foundation

"Whirled Beat" 10-year-old boy drumming washing machine

A Softer World comics/poems

A Softer World

The Education of Average Joe

My friend Andrew Kreider has a new collection of poems called "The Education of Average Joe".
He reads four of the pieces below. Here's a link where you can find out more":
The Education of Average Joe

Simon's Cat in 'Icecapade'

Star Trek - DJ Spock

Slapping the Skins

I don't actually blog much about this, but I play percussion at my church about
three times a week. My friend Rod Ferdnance videotapes most of the services and
he made a video of a ending to a song at church. So, enjoy.

Lame Otter Joke.

From Hello With Cheese.

Anything with otters can't be too lame-cause otters are
my favorite animal.

Think a Happy Thought...

What Would Happen?

My whole life I have done what "they" have told me.

I have said the words they wanted me to say.

I have dressed the way they wanted me to dress.

I have lived the way they wanted.

Forty plus years they have controlled who I am.

Who are "they" you may ask?

Who is this shadowy influence on this free man's life?

They are my parents, my family, my teachers,

my professors, my friends, my pastors, my church family, 
my neighbors, and my wife.

What would happen if I turned away from all they want from me?

What would happen ...

If I did what I wanted?

If I said what I wanted?

If I lived how I wanted?

If I sought my own first of all?

What would happen if I exposed them to all I truly am,

All that I let lay hidden within?

What would happen if I let them see all the contradictions?

All the incongruities?
All that doesn't jive with their notions of who I ought to be?

What if I turned my back on all they want and ask of me?

Am I wrong to submit to them?

Am I untrue to my cowboy ideals?

Turning my back on speaking plain, 

And self-reliance?

My cowboy ideals would be fine if it was just me,

My horse, my gun at my side,

But I sleep in a soft bed on a city street,

Not in a bedroll under the stars.

I work in an office, 
Shop in a Wal-Mart,

Walking through a world filled with people dear to me.

There are no sagebrush or cattle in my landscape.

The question of ‘What will happen?’ will lay unanswered,

Because I am not free.

My liberty is bound to those I love.

Sleighbell fever has overtaken me. The only remedy is to play till it passes.

Dave Brubeck-Religion and Jazz

Watch Dave Brubeck on PBS. See more from Religion & Ethics NewsWeekly.

"Instrument of Choice" by Robert Phillips

She was a girl
no one ever chose
for teams or clubs,
dances or dates,

so she chose the instrument 
no one else wanted:
the tuba. Big as herself, 
heavy as her heart, 

its golden tubes
and coils encircled her
like a lover's embrace.
Its body pressed on hers.

Into its mouthpiece she blew
life, its deep-throated
oompahs, oompahs sounding,
almost, like mating cries. 

From Good Poems by Garrison Keillor 2002
(King 2341 Tuba pictured above. )

"I Will Make You Brooches" By Robert Louis Stevenson

I will make you brooches and toys for your delight
Of bird-song at morning and star-shine at night.
I will make a palace fit for you and me.

I will make my kitchen, and you shall keep your room,
Where white flows the river and bright blows the broom,
And you shall wash your linen and keep your body white
In rainfall at morning and dewfall at night.

And this shall be for music when no one else is near,
The fine song for singing, the rare song to hear!
That only I remember, that only you admire, 
Of the broad road that stretches and the roadside fire.

William Shatner - It Hasn't Happened Yet

Don't ignore this. I'm beggin' ya.

Yes, William Shatner could get an honorary degree from Cheeseball University.
However, this is not one of his 70's spoken word cheese-fests. I have listened to
those and cringed with embarrassment for the whole human race that we had
produced such a monstrosity.

But the new work by Shatner is not like that at all. Ben Folds teamed up with
Shatner to produce this spoken word album. What was produced is a funny,
self-effacing and honest experience. I downloaded the whole album on Spotify and
was amazed at the great writing and the humour involved in this.

So-check it out...please?

Folk Alley Sessions - John Gorka, "I'm from New Jersey"

I remember working at a call center where we had to contact contractors
from all over the country to take care of our clients that called in. Once
I called one of our vendors from New Jersey and I had grown used to
them being rough and sarcastic and I made a joke to the guy about his
fine state in a negative I thought he would like. His answer surprised me.
"Don't say that. I don't like that. We aren't all like that."
He said it in a sincere, hurt tone that I rarely heard from people on the
East Coast. I apologized right away.

It taught me a lesson about people. Many times stereotypes exist for good
reason. I had experience with a lot of people in New Jersey that were
what I had expected-rude, brusque, pushy, just like I saw on stupid TV
shows. But that wasn't all of them, and sometimes I think the way they
acted wasn't really who they were outside of the rough business we both
were in.

I saw this video on Youtube of a folk song about New Jersey, and it really
illustrated this point very well. Good music and he has a nice voice too.

A Special Time of the Month...

As the sweet perfumed dust from the 35 lb jar of Happy Cats Litter rises into the air like priestly incense, it signals the end of that glamorous monthly ritual known as the Changing of the Kitty Litter. 

The Zen Garden like perfection has been christened by Princess Lucy. Now all that is left is the transport of the bio hazard to the dumpster and the evil will be purged from our fair basement.

Derek Trucks Band - Sahib Teri Bandi

"Party Planet" by Scott Lava

"Party Planet" by Scott Lava. Part of the Great Showdowns collection.

Bacon Pancakes

The Shepherds on the Trolley

Please click the link below to read a very nice poem by my friend Andrew Kreider.

The Shepherds on the Trolley

Happy Thanksgiving to a Special Person

This Thanksgiving I want to express my thanks to God for bringing a person into my life: Barb True. Its her birthday also-so it seemed like a good time to do this. I wanted to write a poem, but I just am unable to produce any poetry at this point-just a little lame alliteration   

She may be my wife's maternal aunt, but I consider her to be family just like she was related by blood. Barb is one of those rare people that you like them the from the moment you meet them.

Not only does Barb show her incredible intelligence by loving me like family, she has this way about her where you can imagine what God's love is like by watching how she treats those around her. She has an a serious intention to love her family and friends any way she can. 

I have known her since 1989. In that time, I have seen her bring people into her house to live with her, I have seen her sacrifice time and money for others. When her parents became sick and were suffering from dementia, she cared for them like she was the mother, giving up a great deal for them. 

No, she is not perfect. She does not have a halo. I know there are people that she is not crazy about, people that irritate her, just like the rest of us. Also, it pains me to admit this but I am fairly certain that I have heard certain phrases escape her mouth from time to time that were not something I remember learning in Sunday school. When people irritate her, many times its because they aren't treating her family or friends right, or are just plain selfish. I guess I almost don't consider that a fault, because it simply expresses her love for those that are dear to her. 


One of the reasons I am writing this is because of one of her faults. I don't think she  appreciates herself for the gift she is to the rest of us. She is affectionate, funny, intelligent and a beautiful person that I would step in front of a bullet for. She has made my life, and the life of so many people around me better. 

For that I am truly thankful that she is part of my heart-family and one of my forever friends. 

Happy Birthday Aunt Barb. 

Sundays at Rocco's

Ben Folds - Learn To Live With What You Are

Ben Folds is a very funny, funny man who writes clever songs that are full
of the sort of truth you don't normally find in most shallow pop songs.

That said, he's also a big giant potty-mouth and his mom probably is
scheming for the day she tie him down and wash out his mouth with the
crate of Lifebuoy she bought at Sam's just for that purpose. Probably
not, buts its a great mental picture.

Here's a song that is ok for any audience, and the full lyrics are listed below.
The lyrics touched me. Especially the idea that we are all waiting for some
Movie-like, moment of truth when everything will change and everyone will
see us for the awesome person we are. That almost never happens. Most of
life is made up of all those little decisions we make every day that lead to a
successful life or an epic fail. Its possible to change; to become great-but most of
the time we will live day by day, doing our work, loving our dear ones and
doing the best we can. Living your life seeking anything else is just wasting
what precious time you have on this earth.



I know that you're in there
I can see you
You're saying you're ok
I don't believe you

And now that the gig is off
The spell is broken
The fat lady sung
The president has spoken

These days that you were waiting for
Will come and go
Like any day
Just another day

[Chorus]
There's never gonna be a moment of truth for you
While the world is watching
All you need is the thing you forgotten
And that's to learn to live with what you are

So freak out if you wanna
And I'll still be here
Don't call me for years and when you do
Yeah, I'll still be here

I'm not saying the effort is a waste of time - but I
Just love you for the things you couldn't change
Though you've tried
These hours of confusion they will soon expire
Like everything
Does

[Chorus]

Sometimes
Everything you've ever wanted
Floats above
He's sticking out his tongue and laughing
While everything
Anyone can ever need
Is down below
Waiting for you
To know this

Tamburello Cafè - Vincenzo Solo.

Star Wars Light Saber Ice Pops from ThinkGeek

Live From Daryl's House - "I Can't Go For That"

As a teenager in the 80's I was a HUGE fan of Hall and Oates. I had every
album I could lay my hands on. I remember bringing a cassette of the album
H2O to church one night during youth group. I wasn't trying to start anything
I just planned to listen to it in the car with my friend David while our folks
stood around and talked.

Anyways, the youth group leaders made us listen to the song "Maneater" and
have a meaningful discussion about the dangers of Rock and Roll and we were
all annoyed, quiet and sullen about it. Having been a youth pastor, I have
been in that kind of situation, but I never did it about music.

Since I'm already this far into getting into trouble, I'll go further, it's not good
to leave something only done half-way. Just pointing out that you think something
is evil is of absolutely no use in changing people's behaviors, especially adolescents.
Change must come first from a change of heart, not because the outward disapproval
of some authority figure. The truth of the matter is that the outward disapproval from
figures of authority is a great way to make people want to do something even more.

As an adult, I listen to a wide range of types of music and artists. I do watch
the lyrics and don't listen to just anything, but I also let my conscience be
my guide and try not to take things too seriously.

There is a story of Evangelist Jimmy Swaggart railing against the group
The Police for the song "Murder By Numbers" as decadent and evil.
When you read the lyrics, you find out it's tongue in cheek and is talking
about how easy it is for governments to kill people.

The lyrics for the song below are vague, and don't tell you what the "That" in
the song actually is. It's really an R & B version of Meatloaf's song "I Would
Do Anything For Love". Both songs are really the same joke and shouldn't
be taken seriously.

What I do take seriously about the song below is that it is very pretty, the
arrangement is lovely and the musicians are all very skilled. I feel good
when I listen to the music.

Puerto Rico Statehood

Sheldon

Artsy Stuff

Several entries from A Softer World .
Brilliant writing, like haikus on Acid.
Not for kids-adult only reading-could be offensive...yada, yada, yada.
art and literature...yada, yada, yada...truth found in odd places...etc.
Thanks for understanding.

Post Election Post

So its the day after the big presidential election and most of my friends in conservative Indiana are bummed out. I haven't even darkened Facebook or Twitter, but I've actually been off of social media for the last month. I'm not going to lie to you, I'm disappointed, I wanted the other guy to win. However, I wasn't really crazy about either of them, so I've actually been disappointed since the primaries that we had to have such polar opposites to choose from. If only there was some super rich billionaire that wanted to fund moderate  candidates for national offices, then there could be real change, (sorry-couldn't help myself, but it would be cool if that was true). Some of my friends are really taking it hard. I'm feeling a little better about it after I had some time to think about it.

The thing is this: the majority of our time living day to day has very little to do with the government. When we get our focus entirely on the macro view-on national politics, we get more obsessed with things that rarely affect us like the people and events here on the ground. The micro view of our lives is more realistic, the day to day people places and things affect us more profoundly than any president. Yes, all of the people that said the world will go to Hell in a Hand basket after this election could be right. But unless you are either leaving the country (quitters-ain't got no use for 'em!), or joining an armed resistance movement,(that's a bad idea in case you don't get sarcasm), you just need to live your life the best you can to help those people around you. Only having a macro view causes you to be useless on a day to day micro level. Its like living your life looking through the wrong end of binoculars and wondering why you can't tie your shoes.

I remember being obsessed with national government during the Clinton years. I've written letters, made phone calls and kept an eye on every piece of news coming across the wire and I can tell you it only leads to fear and unhealthy obsession, and never brings real change. Most of the time it's jousting at windmills. Sure, the government has the ability to affect your day to day life, things can get worse, but probably not as bad as the fear mongers in the media would tell us. We seem to forget some times that there are people who want to make us do their bidding or get our money by scaring us.

What I have learned from studying Spanish and Latino culture is that another way to look at the world is to put personal relationships first; look to your family & friends for your support and don't count on the government to be your salvation. In the end the most useful thing to do is love your friends & family, to enjoy life like you always have and to do the good that you can where you are at. Its a much better way than to let fear and hate rule your life.

So like the man said, "Now everyone shut up and get a life!"

Actual Business Spanish Writing on the Blog!

I spent about 30 minutes writing an email to a customer today, and when I got done I was really happy with the feeling of the letter and how it came out. Since I rarely post my Spanish writing here, I thought this would be a good thing to share. This is probably not perfect, and my tone is more familiar than it should be, but I have done business with this customer for a long time, so there is no need to be extra formal. I have also come to the conclusion that since I'm not an overly formal person, I shouldn't go out of my way to be something I am not.

"Oye amigo, la información que he diste solo fuera valido para un punto fijado en tiempo-todo podría cambiar día por día. No sé exactamente que es tu intento con estas preguntas, pero lo pareciera que quisieras decir a tu cliente que no quedaría ninguna posibilidad de demora ni problemas si ellos darte el pedido. Muchos de estos productos son importados desde China y otros lugares y no podemos garantizar la entrega exacta, ni nuestras fabricas-solo podemos dar un plazo de entrega aproximada. Haremos lo mejor posible para llenar el pedido lo antes posible, pero como la naturaleza de la vida, no podemos garantizar que todo pase sin problemas. Si sea problemas o demoras, trabajaremos contigo para ayudar satisfacer tu cliente, pero no queda ningún garantía de un plazo de entrega fijada. "

Ain't No Sunshine - Daryl Hall with Finger Eleven

"Bang on the Drum" Todd Rundgren and Darryl Hall

Its hard not to enjoy this. Darryl Hall and Todd Rundgren are great, and all
of the hand drums are awesome. It looks like it was filmed in Hawaii, so the
scenery looks warm. The hula dancer seems a little over the top though, just
look away and chalk it up to the cultural influences of where the song was sung.


 

GoPro HERO2: Cats vs. Laser

Cat's chasing lasers with an incredible drum soundtrack behind it. Incredibleness with
awesome sauce.

Gifts Come From Strange Places.

10:00 pm-My head is thumping like a 24 inch kick drum .

I take two strangely shaped prescription pain relievers with an 

impressive sounding name. After offering my legs as a source of 

heat to the red-headed love of my life everything goes wonderfully grey.

2:00 am-Awakening slowly from a dream of the barely lit truck stop

on the East side of Fort Wayne, I lay in the dark thinking of

everything and nothing in particular.

It’s been so many years since I lived in those wide lonely views

of the West. I never awaken any longer to the snow capped 

Cascades framing my view to the West. Nor have I smelled the morning dew 

on the sagebrush that rolls into the horizon of the Eastern Desert, 

the view dotted by the Juniper trees with their gnarled branches for more 

than twenty years and the painted hills. In a landscape like that, the immense size  

of the world and the palpable existence of divinity walk hand in hand.

But as I lay in the dark watching the colors of black, grey and navy

on the ceiling of my room, morphing with the movement of the

odd branch in the wind or car in the street I feel those same feelings

return that my beloved vistas brought when I was younger.

The utter loneliness of this moment brings a Western-sized peace. 

Even though I hear the breathing of someone next to me and the 

sounds of a world outside, I am as fulfilled as the night I slept under 

the stars on top of a desert mountain. 

We built a fire, listened to ZZ Top as loud as the batteries of my 

JC Penny boombox would permit, yelled into the night because 

no one was within 30 miles to complain and yet the cold silence 

laughed at us and remained as all encompassing as I had ever 

known it in my short 16 years.

Blaise Pascal said that all men’s troubles from not knowing how to 

sit still in one room. I don’t know how, but in my heart tonight I 

have found the vastness of the world still existing in one room 

and the peace of my Saviour making the darkness warm.

Dragon Baby

An Unexpected Briefing - Air New Zealand

Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal.

http://emergencycompliment.com/

Tired of Bronco Bamma and Mitt Romney

I hear ya kid...I hear ya.

Simon's Cat in 'Fetch'

P.G. Wodehouse: Life and Works - BBC Documentary

One hour long documentary about one of my favorite British Authors: P.G. Wodehouse.
He was the author of the Jeeves and Wooster books.

Darth Vader and Son -- The Children's Book

Mr. Cat

I love the everything about this, but the bass guitar is very nice.

Geography Lesson

One day two ladies at my office told me they were always confused by
Puerto Rico and Costa Rica. This  really concerned me since they were
the people that sent out my documents to customers. I decided to make
a map to help with their lack of knowledge of Latin America.

Below is what I gave them...

Tom Hanks Performs Slam Poem About "Full House" (Jimmy Fallon)

Frank's Bad Day Part XVII

Mr. M. pulled a small remote control from his jacket and pressed a button that dimmed the lights and revealed a screen in the wall facing the foot of the bed.

M spoke, “Please stop me if something is not accurate…that’s rarely the case with these files, but I still hate to assume.”

Frank nodded, “Go ahead.”

The screen lit up and on it appeared list of facts about Frank-they began to scroll slowly up.

Name: Frank Luis Hernandez Sanchez

Age: 32

DOB: February 23, 1980, 18:00 hrs

DOD: April 3, 2012, 14:30 hrs

City of Birth: Chicago, IL

Nationality: Puerto-Rican/Latino

Primary City of Residence: Chicago, IL

Education: B.A. English Lit., University of Illinois, Rockford, IL

High School Diploma, St. Francis High School, Chicago, IL

Completed Elementary and Middle School, Our Lady of Mercy School, Chicago,IL

Marital Status: Single

No history of an intimate relationships lasting more than 4 months. Frank continues to date different women several times a week, but rarely has more than 3 dates with the same woman.

Family:

Mother and father divorced when Frank was 6 years old. Father was in and out of Frank's life on an irregular basis. Frank has no brothers or sisters. Frank has a grandmother, two aunts, uncles and 6 cousins in Puerto Rico, and an uncle and aunt in the UK. Frank's mother was very lonely living in the USA, but could not afford to move back to Puerto Rico. She wanted Frank to finish school in the U.S. before she would return to the island to be with her family. During Frank's time in school, his mother dated many men, but never remarried. Once Frank would begin to like one of his many "uncles", they would disappear, and be replaced by another the next month. After Frank's father left, his mother continued to try to find love and a new father for Frank, but in the end she would always find herself unable to commit, because she was afraid that another man may hurt her again. Frank took a job at a company in Chicago after finishing college. He did not really intend to move to Puerto Rico, but told his mom he would do it once he made some money so they could get a house. Frank's mother moved back to Puerto Rico without him. Six months later, she remarried a childhood sweetheart, and while Frank did not have anything against his new stepfather, he felt less and less comfortable moving there. This remains a sore point between Frank and his mother; she does not feel like forcing the issue any further.

Work History:

During high school and college Frank had different jobs to make extra money. Frank worked at several fast food restaurants and at a movie theater  He received raises and positive evaluations. Frank excelled at dealing with customers and supervisors, but his coworkers found him somewhat cold and distant.

During Frank's junior year of college he came to work the night shift at Apex Telecommunications as an outbound bilingual telephone sales agent. Frank’s sales levels were superior to others in his department. He soon was able to move up to the

Investment Counselor Division of Apex. In this position Frank was responsible for inbound and outbound sales calls to potential and current investors. Frank stayed in the top 5% of performers. Frank developed a reputation for being able to handle problem customers better than anyone in the department. He received commendations and bonuses on a regular basis. His relationships with co-workers remained cold and impersonal. Frank did not develop any lasting personal relationships with any of the people he worked with. This is where Frank worked until his demise this year.

The words scrolled at just right speed on the screen and seemed to stop when Frank had problems reading. The screen faded to black.  M turned to Frank and said in an unemotional tone, “Do you feel this report accurately represents the facts about your life?”

Frank looked down for about a minute. It felt so odd to see such a succinct summary of all he had done and lived. He would have liked to explain things, add some details, but every thought he put together sounded like a lame excuse. Just from a quick gut check Frank knew it was all true.

“It’s all correct Mr. M…you can proceed.”

“Fine then. Uhh…Well. Not to be too much of touchy feely sort, but I think I felt very similar when I saw my file-almost violated. I actually argued! In those days, it was angels that interviewed you. Imagine that! Arguing with some 12 foot tall gleaming white muscular creature with a Claymore sword as big as you. I guess I thought I was dead already, what more could they do? Anyway, my point is this, you just read possibly the most cold and heartless explanation of your life and accepted it. Bravo Sir…Bravo. There are souls who have been in purgatory for 200 years who are still unable to face who they really were. Not to put too fine of a point on it, but you are a cut above many people in this realm. “

“Thanks…I still feel like crap though.”

“Nothing for it my lad. We’ll press on. Next we have a summary of your life and our plan for you at SMI and the plan of the heavenly host to redeem you from this place, if you succeed. Then we will see the decision of the Heavenly Host to our plan for your redemption.“

The screen came back to life and began to scroll slowly again.

Summary: While Mr. Hernandez values human relationships and has demonstrated an superb ability to motivate, encourage and influence people in a business setting, he is limited in empathy with other`s needs and a lack of demonstrated compassion. This is directly a result of the modeling by his mother. Simply put, he has never been able to achieve a level of intimacy where he can share his heart freely with other people, or ultimately with God.

Course of Action:

SMI proposes a twofold approach in dealing with both Mr. Hernandez’s unique challenges and his special skill sets available for our use. The first phase is a preparation for his ultimate assignment, as well as a valid and necessary task to the Kingdom of Heaven. He will spend time learning to understand people on earth and providing them with empathy and compassion, but not any answers or advice; he will become that resource that is so rare on earth-a listening ear. The second phase of his work here, and hopefully the task leading to his redemption, or graduation to the heavenly realm, is that he will succeed as a fully qualified agent of grace and divine compassion in different arenas of earthly life through use of the SAIP (Spiritual Atmospheric Insertion Program) for as much time as is deemed necessary by the heavenly hosts.

Conclusion and Certification:

I have reviewed this document under the wisdom and guidance

Of the Most High. This course of action is authorized by the Heavenly Host:

Purgatory Division Supervisor - Angel Antonius the Fourth.

Glory to His Holy Name.

Amen.

The screen went black and M turned to Frank…

Party-Saurus Rex

I just can't get enough of this video...


Partysaurus Rex on Disney Video

"Time to Go" by OK, Yeah, Wow Featuring Wax Tailor and Aloe Blacc

Tech Talk - new Iphone 5

BRETON'S GUIDE TO LIFE (in 10 steps) on Vimeo

BRETON'S GUIDE TO LIFE (in 10 steps) from Ariel Belziti on Vimeo.

First World Problems

Boba Fett's Dilemma

Boba had a soft side he rarely showed to the rest of the galaxy. However, when the

glamour shot with his beloved Mr. Snuggles for the Rabbit Fancier Club convention got out, things changed drastically. 

Before, he had commanded fear at every cantina, spaceport and rogue's den throughout the empire. He was a force to be reckoned with. Now...he swore he could hear people snickering, and even smiling at him! Imagine, smiling at Boba Fett, like he was some second rate Chakarr! Instead of letting his cape flow regally, he found himself pulling it around his shoulders to hide himself as he walked quickly through the spaceports. Jabba the Hut had not returned any of his calls for the last 2 days. 

Maybe it was time to finally open that pet store on the third planet in the Dagobah system that he always dreamed of when he found himself alone and magnetically attached to an empire cruiser. 

Check out the rest of the paintings like this:

Laughing Squid-paintings of Star Wars Characters holding bunnies.

Boom, Boom...Meow?

The cats seemed confused by my choice of Black Eyed Peas for my morning music.

Does this mean its time to wash the cat?

A Softer World

A Softer World

A Softer World is a very interesting blog/webcomic.

It feels like Haikus on LSD.

Sometimes its hilarious,  thoughtful and sweet and then sometimes
incredibly inappropriate or vulgar. Not for kids that's for sure.

Here's one I stumbled on today that made me happy.

Right Now...

Right now, a man is kneeling on the ground, filling his tire with Fix-a-Flat he bought from Wal-mart.

His hands are dirty and sticky from the tire and the white foam spewing from a leak in the hose on the can. His wife sits in the front seat trying to comfort a crying baby with an ear infection.

He thought he could make it til payday with the slow leak, but now it won’t wait and the baby needs to go to the emergency room because the fever has been too high for too long.

Right now, a tired man in a charcoal suit returns the keys to his rental car to an employee at the Avis counter at the Atlanta airport. He makes the long walk to the Delta Terminal for his flight home. As he walks, he calls his wife’s cell phone…it goes to voicemail repeatedly. He finally puts the phone away and wonders where she is.

Right now, three teen-age girls are stuffed into a ten year old compact car. They are heading to a movie at the dollar theatre. They scream lines from their favorite song as they miss their exit on the freeway. They scold the driver and then laugh as they turn around at the next exit.

Right now, a man struggles with a bra clasp in the dark while a woman giggles.

Right now, a woman opens the door to her apartment, seeing it’s her ex she turns away from the door and yells, “Brandon, your dad is here!! Hurry up!”. She walks away, leaving him standing in the doorway without inviting him in. He glances to the side like he’s inspecting the carpentry work of the door frame.

Right now, an older couple dressed in their Sunday best sits in a diner enjoying a cup of coffee and sharing a piece of peanut butter pie. She wipes the corner of his mouth with a napkin and smiles.

Right now a college freshman studies evolutionary biology. Why he ever believed in God is becoming a mystery to him. He’s content that his world is finally making sense.

Right now a young man is studying the Bible in his room. He feels inspired, charged up and just plain happy. He’s at peace and has finally got a message to share with the world. He’s content that his world is finally making sense.

Right now a Buddhist meditates in a temple, smelling the incense, listening to the deep chimes and chanted prayers. He feels that greater enlightenment is very near. He’s content that his world is finally making sense.

Right now a withered old man sits on a stool in a cool, dark bar in the middle of a bright day. He thinks of all he has seen and heard in this world. He empties his glass and wipes his mouth on his cuff. He turns to an older woman with bright pink lipstick who is smoking a cigarette on the stool next to him. “Remember when we were young and thought everything in this world made sense?” They laugh long and he orders another round for the both of them.

Right now, a man has been let go after twenty years at the factory.

Right now, a young woman has been promoted to head of marketing.

Right now, a child has been told he has to go to summer school or repeat the fourth grade.

Right now, a single mother finds out she won a full scholarship to a community college.

Right now, the administrative assistant is told that wages are frozen at this time.

Right now people are looking for hope to carry on.

Right now people are looking for something to put their faith in.

Right now people are looking for someone to love them no matter what.

Right now, these three remain—but  the greatest of these is love.

Right now, choose love. 

Ben Folds Five and Fraggle Rock "DO IT ANYWAY" [Official Video]

Any day starting with waffles has increased potential to be a good day. Just sayin...

Tip o' the hat to Jack Kerouac's American Haikus

Laying on my side, I stroke the ear of my purring cat. Almost a haiku.

Happy Birthday William Carlos Williams

Today is the birthday of poet William Carlos Williams (1883-1963). He was a pediatrician at a hospital in New Jersey and a poet. I first read about him in Garrison Keillor's awesome book, Good Poems, and also encountered him in a lovely little Dover Book called 101 Great American Poems that was compiled by the American Poetry and Literacy Project. His style is very unique and reminds me of the "American Haikus" of Jack Kerouac. Here are 2 of his poems that I really like:

The Red Wheelbarrow

So much depends

upon

a red wheel

barrow

glazed with rain

water

beside the white

chickens.

This is Just to Say

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox


and which
you were probably
saving 
for breakfast


Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold


In Garrison Keillor's book Good Poems there is also a response to this previous poem
from a writer named Erica-Lynn Gambino.


This is Just to Say

(for William Carlos Williams)


I have just
asked you to
get out of my 
apartment


even though
you never
thought
I would


Forgive me
you were
driving
me insane
      

The Sign of a Good Writer

The sign of a good writer is not always that he can tell you something you did not Know. I think that a good writer is one That can tell you something you always knew but were never able to put into words.

Why I Was Late Today

Dear Human Resources,

I wish to claim my lateness this morning to be covered under FMLA, due

to time spent caring for a sick member of my family.

As you can see from the attached photo, my cat Lucy, was afflicted by

a horrific case of extreme cuteness. The only remedy for this malady

is extended skritching of the ears and making various “Awww” noises

until it passes or until the cat becomes bored and goes and finds a

jingleball to bat around the floor.

Luckily this attack passed fairly quickly today and I was able to get to work

with a minimum of work loss, it was also raining, and there was a rabid

warthog at the corner of Simpson and Middlebury that was slowing the

movement of traffic.

I will stay late to make up for this.

Regards,

John Homan

To Risk

“To Risk”

by William Arthur Ward

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool,
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.

To reach out to another is to risk involvement,
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.

To place your ideas and dreams before a crowd is to risk their loss.

To love is to risk not being loved in return,
To live is to risk dying,
To hope is to risk despair,
To try is to risk failure.

But risks must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.

He may avoid suffering and sorrow,
But he cannot learn, feel, change, grow or live.

Chained by his servitude he is a slave who has forfeited all freedom.

Only a person who risks is free.

The pessimist complains about the wind;

The optimist expects it to change;

And the realist adjusts the sails.

"Winter Winds Cold and Blea" by John Clare

Winter winds cold and blea
Chilly blows o'er the lea:
Wander not out to me,
    Jenny so fair,
Wait in thy cottage free.
    I will be there.

Wait in they cushioned chair
Wi' thy white bosom bare.
Kisses are sweetest there:
    Leave it for me.
Free from the chilly air
    I will meet thee.

How sweet can courting prove,
How can I kiss my love
Muffled in hat and glove
    From the chill air?
Quaking beneath the grove,
    What love is there!

Lay by thy woolen vest,
Drape no cloak o'er thy breast:
Where my hand oft hath pressed,
    Pin nothing there:
Where my head droops to rest,
    Leave its bed bare.


(Kind of scandalous for an 18th century English poet, but no more so than
Song of Solomon and some parts of Proverbs. ) 

"Leisure" by W.H. Davies

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare?

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smiles her eyes began.

A poor life this if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Frank's Bad Day Part XVI

"Yoo hoo...Sleeping Beauty? I say, perhaps you could endeavor to join us for a moment?"

The voice entered the oblivion of sleep Frank had been enjoying for an unkown period of time. It was a British voice, thick with sarcasm and a lower middle class accent. Frank had spent a summer with his aunt Daisy in the south of Great Britain. She had always described herself as "dead common", but she loved to make a game  of "playing posh" when they would go shopping or out for tea. She would act like an Earl's wife from Cornwall and introduce Frank as her nephew from Barcelona and he would speak what little Spanish he learned from his Mom and Grandma, and they would have a great time. They would laugh when they fooled people and laugh even harder when they were found out, generally by a sharp-eared Cockney that noticed that Aunt Daisy's "aitches" were not up to standard. After a summer with Aunt Daisy Frank could pick out the most common accents in the UK like an intern to Professor Henry Higgins.

"Do wake up now, please. We need to get started."

Frank had hoped the voice would go away, but after several minutes it returned. Most put-on accents start to show little cracks in their uniformity and this voice was no exception.

"Oy! Ah'm talkin' to you, mate! Wakie, wakie!"

The voice punctuated the last phrase by poking Frank's nose, not in a hard or painful way, but incredibly annoying nonetheless.

"I'll wake up if you stop poking me!", Frank groaned.

 "There's a good man! Can I get you a cuppa'?"

Frank raised himself to his elbows and paused while the pain subsided.

"A cuppa?...Oh, yes, tea...Sounds great, two sugars, no milk please" , Frank propped himself up in bed and took a cup and saucer from the grey haired man sitting next to his bed. The man  had long unruly white hair, pulled back in a pigtail, but little wisps of hair had broken free and hung limply on the side of his head. His skin was very pale, as white as Frank had ever seen on a living person. He wore a three piece charcoal pinstripe suit. It was showing its age, but was well taken care of. Attached to his vest was a long, jangly chain, presumably for a watch, but the links were as thick as a chain you would use to secure an enthusiastic junkyard dog to  steel stake buried in cement. The man had shiny black shoes with large brass buckles and a hint of white silk stockings.

"Right-o, sorry its not proper tea, just packets down here...probably won't matter that much to you, being an American."

"I've had proper tea before, but I prefer coffee. Mmmm, that's pretty good for packets."

"Thanks. Horrible stuff coffee, in my day it was only drank by nervous Frenchman and rich layabouts trying to seem more Continental than British."

"I don't know about that, but coffee gets ya goin' faster than tea... Maybe that's not always a good thing though. I spent my life rushing around. I don't have much to show for it. Maybe I should have had more tea and more chats, more friends and less earthly success."

"Yes, rather...Good thing that, giving thought to your ways. Shame we didn't do more of that while we were on earth, what, what? Might not have ended up here, eh? You got it right enough to end up here instead of the fiery furnace. Lack of real tea is the least of those poor bugger's problems...ah well, good chat, lets get to business then. I am Mr. M, or simply M for the overly casual Americans. I've given up some measure of decorum since so much of my work force is polluted", he grinned a slightly wicked smile and winked. Frank immediately liked his new boss.

"I'm Frank Hernandez, Mr. M. I'm glad to meet you." The two men shook hands firmly.

"I'm afraid I have no resume or application to hand you. You'll have to ask me any questions you may have about me."

"Mr. Hernandez, SMI is actually part of Purgatory, so we have access to their sources of heavenly information. I have already spent some time looking at your files. We have looked at your history,  accomplishments, failures and have a fairly good idea of who you are and where you can fit into our organization."

"First off, if you know everything about me, please call me Frank. Of course, I will still call you Mr. M. Secondly, are you going to give me a summary of what you have discovered about me so I can understand why I'm here, and what I need to do to leave here?"

"Of course Frank, we'll start with that first off."

"You Can't Always Get What You Want."

Peggy was not the prettiest girl in eight grade.  Come to think of it, she didn't have a nice personality to fall back on either. No, she was probably the least liked girl in my class. She could be mean, she always gossiped and told outrageous stories that few people believed. To this day I can't believe why I thought it was a good idea to ask her to be my girlfriend that Friday afternoon, but I'll never forget her answer as long as I live. 

In the small church school we attended, Peggy was at the bottom of the Jr. High food chain. I was somewhere near the top. I was the class clown, had lots of friends and was pretty sure I was on my way to being a lover-boy. Not that I had any real experience to speak of, but I could make the girls laugh and my Mom said I was charming, and she seemed to be a reliable source on that sort of thing so I knew love was just around the corner. 

One day at lunchtime I sat with some of my friends who happened to be girls, it was all disgustingly platonic. Anyway, as a I munched my "meat" pizza, one of the girls named Tania leaned in and said, "Is it true about you and Peggy?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about." 

"She told me that you guys had gone on a date and that you liked her."

"Nope, I don't know anything about that."

"I thought so. I told her I didn't believe her." Tania looked pleased, like she would enjoying picking on Peggy about this. The thing is, picking on Peggy was too easy. She had none of the poise and social prowess to 

defend herself. I had picked on her and used her as the butt of jokes like everyone else did. We all seemed to have the social niceties of a pack of hyenas in matching plaid uniforms. 

I continued thinking about Peggy that night. If I was ever going to start my career as a lover boy, I had to start somewhere. Why not with her? She did qualify as a girl. She smelled better than a boy and had some of those curvy parts I was interested in.Why not throw her a bone since its obvious she must like me if she's spreading rumours. Yes, I would do it. I would ask her to go with me. I could start on my career as a great lover with little trouble and bring some joy to the underprivileged. 

The very next day was Friday. I found her when no one else was around and asked her the big question. I expected her to squeal with delight and say "YES, YES, YES!". Instead she looked at me blankly and said she would have to "pray about it". In all of the possibilities I had expected this was not even on the list. Yes, no, maybe, not now, all perfectly normal. But this was just nuts. I was deflated like a two week old helium baloon. 

"When will you know what your decision is?", I asked sheepishly.

"I'll tell you Monday." she said in a business-like fashion and walked away. 

Monday took forever to arrive. Finally, I tracked her down and asked her what her decision was. 

"God said we aren't supposed to go together."

I stammered out a weak "Ok..." and turned an walked away. It may have been the worst day in my 8th grade career. Word spread all over the small school about it. Since I didn't want to talk about it, that made it true and not just another one of her stories. 

It also opened all kind of theological questions, "So God won't let me have even the least pretty girl in class as a girlfriend? Am I supposed to be a monk or something? They never said anything about this in Sunday school, what sort of crazy world is this?"

Years later, I finally realized several things. Number 1,  God really did not have anything to do with it.  and number 2, Between the 2 of us, Peggy had got what she wanted. She had been the winner. Everyone had always been mean to her, including me, and had said unkind things about-but this time, she had won. When I look back on it now, it makes me happy to see someone who was on the bottom come out on top. That doesn't seem to happen that often enough. 

Me? What did I get? I got what I desperately needed: a reality check, a little perspective. I needed to know that relationships with women were not going to be something I could manage and that it wasn't all about me. So for that, Thanks Peggy. I hope you got everything you wanted in your life.