Born With a Bothered Mind

Happy Camper - Born With A Bothered Mind (featuring Bouke Zoete) from Job, Joris & Marieke on Vimeo.

Dear White People...

Let me speak to my fellow white people about the Black Lives Matter movement…I was raised in a small town in Oregon where the diverseness of our High School were the two Korean girls that were adopted, (I had a crush on one of them). In the past, I’ve not been a progressive or a liberal on most things. I have voted conservative most of my life. So please listen to me when I say this.

There are a lot of white people missing the point about the Black Lives Matter movement.  

There are many of us spending a great deal of time saying “All Lives Matter”, or “Blue Lives Matter” and generally racially mansplaining to black people that it’s all in their heads and that police brutality is not a real issue. This is quite possibly the worst way to approach this.

Do this with me. Think back to the worst times of your life. Were there ever times in your life when people did not take you seriously? Were there ever times when people told you to settle down and quit overreacting? Were there ever times where people told you that you had no right to feel the way that you did? I don’t know about you, but those are some of the darkest times in my life. Not only did it sting to be told I was wrong to feel the way I did, it left me feeling alone, totally misunderstood and angry at the world.

The question of whether blacks are being treated differently by the police is very important, but just as important is the fact that there is a large segment of our society that has a perception that they do not belong; there are people in our country who do not trust the police to protect them, and many of us are just saying they don’t know what they are talking about and ignoring it.

The phrase “Black lives matter” is not stating their lives are extra special, worth more than white lives or blue lives, but it is crying out that they believe their lives are not being treated as equally important as the rest of us. Responding with “All Lives Matter”, means we totally don’t get it or worse yet, we believe everything is just fine and black people are just blowing things out of proportion.

The “All Lives Matter” responses along with some law enforcement agencies either not policing themselves or making incredibly bad decisions in responding to the public outcry is what is leading to violence from unbalanced people. When a group of people feel ignored and oppressed by the people that should be protecting them, when hopelessness becomes entrenched in your world outlook, how can it not eventually lead to violence?  

If I as a blue eyed blonde haired big galoot of a white man, who the last time I was pulled over for speeding received a warning, woke up one morning to see media coverage of police shooting down people that looked just like me, how would I react? If the months and years went by and it became a normal thing to hear reports of people like me dying in the streets, how would that affect me? I would be angry, nervous and spend my day looking over my shoulder hoping I didn't catch the attention of law enforcement. I'd be asking myself how I ended up in a country like this.

Many of us were raised with those ideals that America is the land of the free and the home of the brave, that it was the best country in the world where everyone was treated equal and you could be anything you wanted to be through hard work and determination. Those ideals led many of us to work hard and be productive members of society. If we had been raised to not trust the government and to be careful because the police were not to be trusted and could kill us, how would that affect us? If we saw things causing us to believe that the system is not fair and that equality is a myth, how would we respond?

The reason that many people respond with "all lives matter" is because they still want to believe those ideals even though there are things happening to our fellow citizens that are contrary to the ideals of America. They want to ignore events that are contrary to their dream of a just and free America. If we truly believed in that dream of a just America, enforcing those beliefs is the best way to make it so. It is the way that most resembles the founding of our country-resisting unfair treatment of our countrymen. In this situation, we need to force our elected officials to take it seriously when a large segment of society fears those who are supposed to be protecting them.

Saying "Black Lives Matter", is as patriotic as "We hold this truth to be self-evident that all men are created equal..." It’s the same idea, only specifying one of the parties of men that are equal to all of the others.

If we can't say that "Black Lives Matter" without adding a “but” at the end, without some type of disclaimer to it…we need to ask ourselves why.

"Hey Internet, Stop Trying to Inspire Me!"

Caution-plain adult talk to follow. Some cussing for sensitive folks.

Hey, Internet: Stop Trying To Inspire Me

the blade by Charles Bukowski

the blade 

there was no parking near the post office where I worked at night 
so I found this splendid spot 
(Nobody seemed to care to park there) 

on a dirt road behind a 
slaughterhouse 
and as I sat in my car 
just before work 
smoking a last cigarette 
I was treated to the same 
scene 

as each evening tailed off into 
night-the pigs were herded out of the 
yard pens 
and onto runways 
by a man making pig sounds and 
flapping a large canvas 
and the pigs ran wildly 
up the runway 
toward the waiting 
blade, 
and many evenings 
after watching that 
after finishing my 
smoke 
I just started the car 
backed out of there and 
drove away from my 
job. 

My absenteeism reached such astonishing 
proportions.

that I had to finally 
park 
at some expense 

behind a Chinese bar 
where all I could see were tiny shuttered 
windows 

with neon signs advertising some Oriental 
libation. 

it seemed less real, and that was 
what was 
needed.

NAPOWRIMO 2015

April is National Poetry Month.

This year my wife Laura and I are joining NAPOWRIMO, which is National Poetry Writing Month . We normally participate in National Novel Writing Month in the Winter, but this year we are going to write one poem every day for the whole month of April. I'm planning on posting most of them here on the blog unless they are too sensitive, but I have some ready made poems already in reserve I can add to the blog, so stop by and you should see something new this month.

You can also see my wife's blog here: Grace to Create

Thanks!

Dear Aldi's

Dear Aldi's,

Below is an actual section trimmed from the aluminum can of your Summit GT Diet Cola. I'm sorry, but someone has to tell you...you're trying WAY TOO HARD here.

That's an awful lot to expect from one beverage, especially when it's $2.39 for a 12 pack. I'm sorry, it's not as good as Diet Coke. Just a hint, say something like "A delightful refreshing beverage that won't break the bank". You've just made the bar WAY too high for just a can of diet soda. Tell your marketeers to switch to decaf or something-cause this is a little crazy. Just sayin. I like your other stuff, thanks for saving me money on groceries and your guacamole is awesome.

Best Regards,

John Homan

Star Wars - complete in Gif form

Hard Time Valentines - Homeless Couples in New York

"The Man With The Beautiful Eyes", by Charles Bukowski

"Nirvana" by Charles Bukowski - read by Tom Waits

Marimba Solo

This is something I made with my phone on a Saturday afternoon at work.

Pre-coffee thought...

I am a sock...

Stretched out by society’s designs,
Stuffed into situations I hate
Smelling of compressed sweat
Stuffed into a basket full of shirts and sweaters
Swirling in the soapy water of the washer
Sailing and soaring in the sizzling dryer,
Sojourning in the basket until I am sorted
and joined to my mate again.

Mike Love - Permanent Holiday

Post by Marcio Sabia.

Drifters

Urban Isolation

Happy Friday. Check out this sublime little short film that makes Los Angeles even a little cooler than it already is.

JaBig Marvin Gaye Remix

One of my friends turned me on to the DJ JaBig on Soundcloud. He's really phenomenal and most of his work is available for free on soundcloud. Check out the Marvin Gaye remix below. I like it all except for the inclusion of the Blurred Lines part, but that's for the lyrics only, the jam itself is tight.

A Softer World

The website A Softer World is really a literary gem of a website.
The authors write little bits of prose/poems and pair them with interesting photos
in what looks like a comic strip but really isn't. Fair warning though, some
of their stuff can be vulgar and "R" rated, so don't point your young children
their for poetry appreciation month. Here's a sample of some of their stuff
that touched me or made me laugh.

I especially liked how the last one looks like its going to end all puppies
and unicorns and then proceeds to swerve into a three car pileup with
oedipal issues. It made me feel like someone just played an awesome
joke on me and I have to do a standing slow clap for the talent.

 

Radio Free Babylon - Coffee With Jesus

You should like this facebook page.

Billy Collins versus Charles Bukowski

Two books of poetry at the local Barnes & Noble.

1. Billy Collins, brilliant, hilarious poet laureate of the United States-a mere 88 pages.
2. Charles Bukowski, hard drinking, horse racing aficionado, lover of cats and classical music, a bum who made it- a whopping 408 pages you could probably use as a light bludgeon.

Both books are $18. Both are great poets, but Bukowski is a $5.00 Chinese buffet with pizza and ice cream and Collins is a delicately prepared meal of haute cuisine that still tastes like real food, but empties your wallet.

I`ll take the buffet...at least I'll go away full and not feel cheated when I come to the end of the book.

RIP Horace Silver, founder of the Jazz Messengers. You brought a lot to our world. Thanks.

This Is Your Brain On Mobile

This is your brain on mobile

Still I Rise By Maya Angelou

You may write me down in history

With your bitter, twisted lies,

You may trod me in the very dirt

But still, like dust, I’ll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?

Why are you beset with gloom?

‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells

Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,

With the certainty of tides,

Just like hopes springing high,

Still I’ll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?

Bowed head and lowered eyes?

Shoulders falling down like teardrops,

Weakened by my soulful cries?

Does my haughtiness offend you?

Don’t you take it awful hard

‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines

Diggin’ in my own backyard.

You may shoot me with your words,

You may cut me with your eyes,

You may kill me with your hatefulness,

But still, like air, I’ll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?

Does it come as a surprise

That I dance like I’ve got diamonds

At the meeting of my thighs?

Out of the huts of history’s shame

I rise

Up from a past that’s rooted in pain

I rise

I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,

Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear

I rise

Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear

I rise

Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,

I am the dream and the hope of the slave.

I rise

I rise

I rise.

Officer on San Diego Homeless Team

Steadfast Stanley

Cantina Band Try outs

Sometimes, Dreams Do Come True...

Twitter entry at 6 am as I am packing my bag to go to the YMCA to swim...

Sending psychic signals to my boss & coworkers that someone needs to bring in donuts...specifically maple iced cream filled long johns.
— John Homan (@john_homan) April 25, 2014

8 am as I arrive at work...I find this on my desk from my coworker Kimberly.
She does not use Twitter at all.

Real Life Starter...

Satire...it's satire, ok? Language is a bit rough though.

Today I'm a cowboy.

In the movie City Slickers, three friends from New York go on a vacation to work at a cattle ranch.
They are supposed to help real cowboys move a herd of cattle from one ranch to another, then things go horribly wrong. The trail boss dies, the cook gets injured and the cowboys paid to move the cattle and the guests from ranch to the other abandon both cattle and people in the middle of the wilderness.

Its really a movie about male mid-life crisis and male relationships. It's also one of my favorite movies of all time. Here's the dialogue from the scene that meant the most to me. The two friends Phil and Ed are trying to move the herd through the mountains to the other ranch after the cowboys have left them and the rest of the guests have fled to safety.

Phil: "Look we did the best we could. Let's just leave the herd and get the hell out of here!"
Ed: "No! A cowboy doesn't leave his herd."
Phil "You are a sporting goods salesman!"
Ed: "Not today."

Ed's statement has more power when you take into account the beginning of the movie. The three friends spend all of their vacations doing dangerous things like the running of the bulls and skydiving, but they still have that restless feeling that middle aged men get. This time, Ed doesn't just treat this like an adventure he can walk away from, he treats it like its real life and that he is the one that chooses to define who he is.

The reason I can relate to this is that it perfectly illustrates that essential American ideal that individuals can choose to define themselves. We don't have to let the day to day life wash over us and define us by our work alone or by our place in society. Our entire world may have chosen to define us one way, but we are still the one who accepts or rejects that identity.

Many people think that you must be naturally gifted to do something, to write, sing, play an instrument. A gifting is helpful, but desire trumps gifting. If you desire to be something and you put your time and resources into becoming that thing, you will go farther than someone with simple gifting but who possesses no true desire to see that dream through.

In my later years in life I have found myself stepping away from what I thought I would be and finding my desires leading me. The desire to write, to play music and create is becoming more and more important to me and I'm finding whatever avenues I can to share what I create. When I feel that its a waste of time, and that voice that we all seem to have says to me, "You're not a poet, you're not a percussionist,  you're a customer service rep! You need to spend time paying the mortgage! You're just a redneck kid from Oregon who flunked 9th grade grammar!".

So how do I answer that voice? How do we answer all the voices that tell us we can't be what we want to be? Just like Ed, I don't have the luxury of leaving the non-cowboy life totally behind. I still have to earn my bread for now. That doesn't mean I'm stuck. There are still days when I can respond to that voice telling me all that I can't be and tell it without a doubt in my voice, "Not today...not today"

Soundcloud

My newest artistic endeavor is podcasting. I'm starting with my poems and will go from there.