Feeling Nervous About the Trip

Its a little under three weeks before I go to Costa Rica for language school and I'm getting kind of nervous. I've been to Mexico three times, during those three times I went into remote areas where there were no tourists. So, this isn't a completely foreign experience for me, but this will be very different from those times.

For one thing, I'm going by myself-not even my wife is coming,(which I'm not crazy about). No guides, or people that have been there before to watch out for me. Sure, the school will be providing me some kind of help, but not like before where somebody else told me what and when to eat, when to shop, where to sleep. There won't be that kind of guidance. I always said I wanted a trip on my own, but the reality is a lot scarier.

One of the things that I always hoped in going to other countries is that I could learn how to fit in, how to speak the language and learn to act in a way that was polite and culturally sensitive. While its certainly possible to learn language and manners, fitting in like a native anywhere but your own country is not a very realistic goal. Of course, I'm pretty sure I wont have problems like Brando did...



My accent will leave doubts that I'm a native Spanish speaker, and my physical prescence will confirm all those doubts. Besides having blonde hair, blue eyes and very fair skin, I am both tall and large,(maybe I can convince them I am a Cuban with a speech impediment and a thyroid condition). Now, Costa Rica is actually one of the countries in Latin America that has a larger percentage of lighter skinned people. Some sources about Costa Rican culture say that they are proud of their "whiteness", I don't know if that is the case or not, but I still know that I will stick out like a sore thumb.

"Oh, Yeah, Like you blend..."

The point it that there is nothing I can do to avoid being conspicous. It's inevitable that I will be pigeonholed as a gringo, and all the negative things that go with that. Learning a language is about more than just learning the words of another language, more than learning how to conjugate verbs. Learning a language is really about learning to communicate in universal terms-not local. This means there is always a conflict in any type of cross cultural communication. We always have to go beyond our own prejudices and the prejudices of the others in order to communicate. The nature of communication between cultures always starts with the shock of the strange alien, and the eventual transformation of the alien to familiar as we find what is universal between us.

Neo-sociological-gobbledy-gook aside, I'm ready to accept the fact that I will stand out. What is great about this is I that once again I get to be the minority-I get to feel the same thing that Latino immigrants feel when they come to the US, I get to be alone in a strange place where everyone knows I'm not from there and they speak a language that I can't speak as well as they do. I've felt this way before in Mexico, but what astounded me was I was welcomed warmly and treated well. I only hope I can return the favor to Spanish-speakers when I meet them here in the United States.

Juanito

Next Costa Rica Entry: "Shopping and Packing for the Trip"