The Salsa Concert in the park

(Salsa Concert)

Saturday, there was a Salsa and Merengue concert in the park as part of the fiesta. I found a seat close by and got a diet pepsi with lime and sat down to enjoy it. It was a good group. They had a saxaphone, trumpet, piano and an incredible percussion section. There were three singers. A guy with perfect hair and sunglasses and two girls who seem to wear that same brand of flare-cut-two-sizes-too-small jeans that are very popular around here.

They were having a great gig and everyone was sitting around enjoying themselves when the real show started. Out of the crowd came an older Asian man who looked to be mentally challenged. He also had a larger than normal butt,(not that I´m one to talk, but this point is important to the story).

As the group played, he started to dance. It was a very, well, shall we say, provocative dance. He had some incredible hoochie mama moves. You know that thing where the girls shake their hips back and forth really fast, like you see on rap videos? He was doing that. It was like a car wreck, you could not take your eyes off it. It was like if Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas had a child with Forest Gump.

Soon he left. I was both relieved for the band, and kind of sad to see him go. I just had to respect that the home-boy had studied, and he brought all the love he had for us. It was like William Hung on American Idol. You could not help but like him for being so utterly brave in the face of utter mediocrity.

The band was relieved for about one song, and they were twirling and moving their hips in perfect timing. I just love Salsa, even if I could not dance it at gunpoint, I still love it. Then, out of the shadows came the next dancer.

Actually two showed up. The first had a mustache and blue shirt. He had a real interesting style. It was obvious he had studied Michael Jackson during the early "Billy Jean" days, but he was influenced by something else, but what was it? Then it hit me. He was mixing the subtleties of Michael Jackson´s "Billy Jean" moves with the incredibly retro Wild-West Gold Prospector shuffle. But in the end, try as he might, it just ended up looking like bum dancing. It was sad, because with some real choreography, maybe a 12 step program, and some mousse, he could do something with that.

Then his partner showed up. He was also wearing a blue shirt, but he proceeded to take it off and do some freestyle Merengue moves about five feet from the band. He was wearing his pants very low on his waist, I was pleased to see there was no thong sticking out. He tired of the freestyle dancing after awhile, and seeing there was no oil to put on his burnished chest, he was struck by a flash of inspiration. He soon moved to the far left side of the bandstand, and started waving his partner to get out of the way. He was going to do some acrobatics!

He kept teasing us by taking three steps and then stopping. His partner persisted in getting in his way. Finally the wait was over and he did a cartwheel. It was really a half-hearted attempt. He went back to some free style Merengue, and then another pathetic cartwheel. After the cartwheel, he went to the band leader and they seemed to have some conversation where he put his hand out.

I assumed he was explaining that he should be paid scale for the sort of artistic expression that he had brought to the exhibition that day. He left empty handed. The police had been watching all of this. I assumed they were either just too tired from the heat to care, or bum dancing is a constitutionally protected form of free speech. I´ll have to do some more research on that.

Juanito

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